A weighty issue: Wegovy ads are just cringe
With so many people slimming down, us fatties have lots of access to free clothes
The pressure to lose weight has never been greater, given the promise of semaglutide drugs. I resist because a promise they would likely keep for me is the promise of gastroparesis. I suffered from this paralysis of the stomach as a side effect of amitriptyline, a drug less likely to cause this problem than the weight loss drugs on the market today. I talked to my doctor about Wegovy to confirm my suspicions; he basically said, “yeah, this would be a nightmare for your stomach.”
I have to admit that it really pisses me off that Wegovy is using Kesha’s “This is Me” to sell their poison injection. I hope Kesha is getting the royalties. It was only last year when she won her freedom from an abusive, body-shaming manager. I don’t love all of Kesha’s music, but many of the songs where she has had more creative control have been anthems for me during some very difficult times. “Praying” and “Bastards” motivated me to keep going when I could feel my body dying because of lactic acidosis and kidney failure that was caused by another drug aimed at treating diabetes. One that isn’t sold as a weight loss drug, but made it easier for me to keep weight off and keep my ovarian cyst under control, which is why I chose to stay on it after reversing my diabetes through diet and exercise.
My globular filtration rate was 25% at that time. It is now at 75%. Weight loss drugs are not worth risking the progress I have made toward having normal functioning kidneys. All semaglutides pose a risk to kidney health. That is why they should only be used for people whose diabetes presents an even greater risk to the kidneys if a drug like this isn’t used. We could see a time when more healthcare dollars are being spent on dialysis than on maintenance drugs because of this weight loss method. It is not a good trade off.
I empathize with anyone who is really obese who chooses to go on these medications, because obesity is not as simple as people think. There are so many factors. I went to conferences on this topic and met with the top experts in this area. There are 11 genetic factors that researchers have found, and have said that there are likely hundreds more. There is the microbiome, medications, and if you are someone like me, who has experienced alternating periods of scarcity and plenty in your youth either due to illness or poverty, then there is that as well. It is something that forever alters one’s metabolism. If you were a formula baby (as in not breastfed), or if your parents smoked, that can increase the likeliness of obesity. All of these things were true for me. But a person is especially screwed when multiple medications that they need to take in order to remain functional contribute to weight gain. The more important battle is just to prevent further weight gain.
I have one motivation for losing weight, and that is that it would make it safer for me to get a breast reduction. What I want is more than a reduction… it is more like top surgery. I want them taken off completely. Not because of gender identity, but because of upper back pain. I have adult onset scoliosis, a condition linked to multiple sclerosis. It might have been the first symptom of my MS, but when I was diagnosed with it, little was understood. In fact, my chiropractor, who had done x-rays of my back when I was 15, even said, “We must’ve missed this before.” But he hadn’t. I have the films. The curvature first appeared when I was 26, 10 years after having mono, a time when most people with MS experience their first symptoms.
What is not a motivation for weight loss is clothing. As a fat woman, I am experiencing a glut of very nice, often free, clothing because of the people around me losing weight. My mom lost weight the old fashioned way, through starving herself. She even describes it that way. It is calorie restriction and lots of walking, but it isn’t exactly a crash diet. She was motivated from all these stories of obese people experiencing more severe cases of covid. Neither her or I have ever had covid, but many women we know who weigh over 200 pounds and had covid now must be hooked to an oxygen tank all of the time. So a couple years ago, she went from weighing around 200 lbs. down to 145. A little weight crept back on; she is still around 150 lbs.
My grandma has experienced weight loss related to chronic heart failure. She is not trying to lose weight and is frustrated that she must get new clothes, and we are helping her out by shopping for her at thrift stores. My mom and I know what size she now takes, but she doesn’t think that a size 14 will fit her; she is still thinking she must take a size 18 or larger. That isn’t just due to old age. I remember reading an article years ago about how many people keep this idea of themselves as a large person even after losing weight. Anyway, my grandma ordering clothes from catalogs only to send them back is not what she needs, and we live near some great thrift stores.
My whole family is into thrift as it is a more eco-friendly way to shop. I seldom buy pieces because of the clothing glut I find myself in. I get nice outerwear from my grandma’s closet, and have gotten some nice shirts from my mom’s closet. And since I bought a lot of clothes before going on disability (when many large department stores were liquidating), and because nearly everything is in style now (enter the clotheshorseman of the apocalypse), I have clothing for all occasions. The clothes I have needed to buy more recently are things I am much more likely to wear out, and I have had a difficult time finding in both thrift and retail stores: swimwear and cotton nightshirts. What is with these hot summer pajamas? All are silky polyester, and likely to get soaked through when I have a hot flash! No thank you! I had to order my nightshirts and swimwear from Lane Bryant. I have almost always had to order swimwear. For most people, of all sizes, I recommend H2O. It is high quality, chlorine-resistant swimwear that is made in the U.S. I always had to buy different size tops and bottoms, which often is not an option in brick and mortar stores, but definitely an option through places like JunoActive, H2O, and Lane Bryant.
This is the first week of lap swim at the aquatic center near my house. It is a short walk over, and programs such as lap swim and water walking are held at 11 a.m., before the pool opens to the general public for the day. I did not go the first day because it was very cool out, and the shock from coming out of a warm pool into 60 degree F air temperature would have induced tremors. My sights are set on tomorrow as it will get above 80. Today, there are storms in the forecast and I woke up with a migraine that has been managed by Nurtec and coffee, but chlorine can still be a trigger. Each day is a decision tree, but swimming is important to me, and I try to make it work as often as possible. It is why my most expensive clothing is always swimwear. I say that despite owning a couple really high-end designer dresses. I never bought a prom dress or a wedding gown, but I have spent the equivalent amount for some swimsuits. Priorities.
In the time since covid, it is the warm weather months that I live for. I am similar to my cat that way. She becomes more costly in the warm weather months because of the cost of Apoquel (for seasonal allergies) and Revolution plus (to protect against parasites). She has several catio options at her disposal so that she can experience the outdoors without posing a threat to birds. Some rodents and moles have been foolish enough to enter the mesh run, graze cage and screened in porch she uses. They are fair game, and as they are not in short supply (I actually require a cat to help keep their numbers in check), there is no detriment. My swim time costs more than the cost of a season pass for lap swim and new swimwear. I know swimming is one of my biggest triggers for UTI, but coupling Uqora Flush with a high potency probiotic (my go-to is Florajen 3, but am currently on the costly-but-worth-it VSL 3), I can prevent these. The costs of summer are so worth it!
To bring this post full-circle, I will close with a poem I wrote recently. I am currently working on a collection of poems that focuses on the intersectionality of disability, poverty and trauma. Many of my poems are about things that happened to me in childhood. This is one of the lighter selections.
The shirt
I was a husky child, a chunky kid, a fatty fatso…
Kid size clothes didn’t fit me right, we’re overpriced
And a youth large felt much too tight.
Adult small was the size for me, the size of all my tees.
Rummage sales is where we’d shop, make many stops
In the 1980s it was wages, not prices, that always dropped.
I found a shirt hanging on a rod in this person’s garage.
It was salmon color with leaves and mesh in the middle.
Dressier than a T-shirt, maybe just a little.
I wore that shirt to school on picture day.
I was played for a fool in a sorta way.
This boy said to me on the playground that day,
“My grandma has that shirt.” I just walked away.
Years later, preparing to hold a rummage sale,
I recalled the incident and told my mom the tale.
If I could go back to that fateful day, I decided this is what I’d say:
“My grandma has this shirt too,” and then I’d walk away.
I now make people laugh when I spin this yarn.
To leave someone speechless holds a certain charm.
There are no time machines to give me that chance.
The woulda-coulda-shouldas are where the humor is at.