I defended myself as a feminist and got attacked
So many people need to chill the fuck out and get a clue
The LGBTQIA+ community needs allies. This makes it all the more tragic when an ally is attacked because of someone’s mock outrage. I had to endure the vilification of feminists as man haters by someone recently, so I said in response, “I am an old school feminist.” I can’t believe that I need to ever say this, but I had to inform this person that being a feminist does not mean someone is a man hater or a TERF. As the person I was talking to lives in the U.K., I went on to talk about what feminism is all about in the U.S. It is about standing for reproductive healthcare, equal rights, equal pay. But somehow, this disturbed individual believed I was calling them a TERF, which I was informed of when I logged into Second Life today. I said that I didn’t appreciate the false allegations, removed them as a friend, and blocked them.
I still fear they might try something stupid and try to get me banned, but the chat log shows that they were spewing vitriol about feminists and that I never once called them a TERF or implied that they were. In fact, I said that I think TERF is overused. I feel the same way about people saying “Karen.” The way these terms are misused and overused is tantamount to hate speech. These are attacks on women. It seems like you are not allowed to defend a woman’s reproductive rights without being called a TERF, and if you ever make any kind of complaint or ask to speak to someone’s supervisor, then you are a Karen. What the fuck? Just because a trans-woman would never need to get an abortion, then it’s wrong to stand up for a woman’s right to choose? By the way, sometimes a person not doing their job is very dangerous for those of us in the disability community. I have had to speak up for loved ones who were being mistreated in assisted living centers. I had to speak to a supervisor and report someone to the local health department for putting a family member’s health at stake by failing to wear gloves when drawing blood and administering shots.
Not that it should really matter to anyone, but the LGBTQIA+ community is one that I am more than an ally to; I am a part of it. I identify as asexual, and once identified as bi. I am hardly the enemy, but from time to time, someone gets it in their heads. I am in good company. Even Ru Paul has been accused of being transphobic. It is ridiculous, and utterly frivolous in a time when there are real and dangerous threats to people in this community.
Mock outrage is not helping the cause. Making false allegations is not helping the cause. These are the sorts of behaviors that lead people to despise a person. In fact, bearing false witness is so grievous a sin that it made the most famous top ten list in history. I implore everyone to think before they speak, give that text another read before drawing the wrong conclusion, and chill the fuck out! Losing this person as a “friend” does not hurt. The things they would say to me were extremely triggering, and I am better off without having to deal with that. What hurts is being accused of something I did not do. It ruined my whole day. I returned to SL to combat isolation, but by putting myself out there, I am once again bait for all the jerks. I’m not here for that.
I'm so sorry that happened to you. It sounds like that person has some unrelated personal issues that they took out on you. You didn't deserve that, and I'm glad you didn't put up with it. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you. I'm sending virtual hugs across the country to you and virtual curses across the pond to the person who ruined your day.