I have two anal skin tags. They are obstructions that get in the way of getting shit done, so I named them Joe Manchin and Kyrsten Sinema. Manchin has been around for quite some time, and I have learned to live with him, but Sinema has just got to go… and if I didn’t have a bidet, I likely would have cut a bitch myself.
When I went to my consult with the surgeon, he said to me, “I can’t promise to make you the perfect asshole, but I’ll try.” It was one of the funniest things I heard all year. Humor helps. After talking to him, it sounded like removing both tags would make the surgery far more difficult, so that is ultimately the reason I am just having the one taken off. The older one (Manchin) has formed into more of a ridge anyway.
Some of the more embarrassing symptoms of multiple sclerosis involve the bladder and bowels. I have the added level of difficulty of having a history of interstitial cystitis, chronic urinary tract infections, and irritable bowel (which began after my gallbladder removal that was necessitated by a birth control pill I was prescribed as treatment for my endometriosis) that all predate the onset of MS symptoms.
I think when most people think of a condition like MS causing someone to have to go on disability, they think about pain, or limitations to mobility. I experience a lot of pain, and sometimes need to use a cane or a walker, but sometimes these are lesser barriers to functionality than the toileting issues. My greatest fear these days is having to poop in a place without a bidet. Sure there are wipes (they burn), and there is Balneol (which is soothing, but it takes a lot to clean one’s self), but a bidet is so much more than a cleaning device. So much more preferable to open one’s asshole with a jet of water than having to get one’s hands dirty *ahem*.
It really is a must have for accessibility. For so many people, getting to the point where they require someone else to wipe their ass is one of the worse stages of disability. A bidet is a good work around. In fact, after I finish writing this, I will be forwarding information about the affordable bidet that I have (and that several members of my family now have) to my IRIS consultant (the person who is my main connection for the long term care program I am in).
There are people with end stage MS who are completely bedridden, but I think many people with other forms/stages of MS experience days where they are bedridden too. For me, my bedridden days are either due to migraine, muscle spasms in my torso (known as the MS hug), or ass trauma caused by the bowel problems that I experience due largely to MS, or, when I was on a different disease modifying treatment, due to the side effects of medication for MS. I used to have more bedridden days related to trigeminal neuralgia or interstitial cystitis, but some medical procedures I underwent have reduced my flare ups of both conditions.
My surgery is Tuesday, and I won’t be able to sit much for a couple of weeks, so I will not be writing or working on art projects during that time. I’ve never mastered the whole standing while typing thing, and laying on one’s side is not an optimal position to be in either. I will likely be listening to audio books or watching movies while I heal. If you have recommendations for what to read or watch, put them in the comments section. I have been going for works by Annabelle Gurwitch and Bob Odenkirk as of late, but will likely want to make a change because this could be one of those situations where it hurts to laugh.
I hope to be getting rid of one pain in the ass while temporarily suffering another. If there is one thing I have learned from my rectal issues, it is that not all growth is good. 🌸
I'm glad you have a sense of humor about it. That's probably the only way to get through stuff like this. At least you know you can visit Japan. Almost every toilet has a bidet. Almost every public restroom has an accessible stall (or an entirely separate bathroom).
I really enjoy the podcast Reply All. There's a two part episode called Long Distance, episodes #102 and #103, that's really entertaining.
There's also a podcaster I like named Sam Fragoso. His show is called Talk Easy, and he does a lot of really great interviews. He does an insane amount of research on each guest.
I love the audiobook for The Raven Cycle by Maggie Stiefvater. The narration, by Will Patton, is excellent. It's low fantasy, mostly in this world, and YA, but the writing is far more sophisticated than most YA. It's light. Pure entertainment.
My favorite authors right now are Donna Tartt and George Saunders.
I've also been watching stand-up on Netflix almost nonstop, lately. Hannah Gadsby is my favorite. Oh, and that Netflix series that Barak Obama did called Our Great National Parks was really, really good.